Cynicism

There was a certain teacher who loved teaching, connected well with her students, contributed all around the school community but had great difficulty remembering to take roll at the beginning of the day and submit it to the office.  She tried posting reminders. She assigned students (this was before phones and alarms), she got emails and personal conversations.  

She still forgot.

The secretary was frustrated because every day it held up the school wide attendance.  One day in frustration she complained to the principal.  

The principal thought a moment and then looked at the secretary and said "She does an awful lot of good things for our community.  Why don't you just call down to her room each day, let it ring once, and she will remember."

The secretary added in five seconds to her daily schedule which in turn saved her three minutes of waiting and complaining and allowed her to start her day positively offering a little grace.  

Another teacher had the same issue of forgetting but her principal constantly wrote her up, blatantly pointed out her shortcomings in public newsletters and criticized her in front of the rest of the staff saying she would never remember.  She was right. 

Both teachers were at fault.  Both were not hitting the required mark.  But who do you think came out of this better off as both an individual and a community? 

When we engage in cynicism- always looking for the faults, negativity or ways for others to let us down, we are bound to find it.  Along with the let-down we all but ensured.

One recent study suggested that cynicism is one of the biggest current obstacles to happiness.

A pattern of repeated fault-finding, and thus putting down others and ourselves drives away the Spirit.  We may be right that we found those deficits, but it might be a very alone and cranky right.  I've been there. 

Loren C Dunn warned, "Faith cannot be nourished in a heart that has been made hard by continued cynicism, skepticism, and unforgiveness.  A person who cannot see the good in people not only destroys his own faith, but also becomes a basically unhappy person."

Now that doesn't mean if we aren't happy, it's because we are cynical.  We are more complicated than that.  

But it does mean it's possible that if we become less cynical, we have more happiness awaiting us.  

A wise mentor asked me this important question: Do the people I mentor know I believe in them? Then she taught me to specifically go in and look for three good things people have done before I ever let myself go to the faults and areas of improvement.  That didn't come naturally after 30 years of being overly critical of myself (and others). 

I started with coworkers and expanded to my family and friends.  I'm far from perfect but when I stopped expecting them to let me down it rarely happened. 

But what if your experiences or temperament make you more likely to fall back on cynicism? 

Sheri Dew prompted, "Is it possible to be happy when life is hard? To feel peace amid uncertainty and hope in the midst of cynicism? Is it possible to change, to shake off old habits and become new again? Is it possible to live with integrity and purity in a world that no longer values the virtues that distinguish the followers of Christ?

Yes. The answer is yes because of Jesus Christ, whose Atonement ensures that we need not bear the burdens of mortality alone."

He will help us. 

He will change us.

Look for the good.  For we will usually find what we are looking for.