Resilience

 

We have taken multiple train trips across the country with many adventures along the way.  I love how excited my girls were in this picture taken in Colorado.  They feel safe and confident and eagerly awaiting all that lies ahead. 

But the picture reminds me of a story of children taking a very different train ride. 

Many years ago I listened to the testimony of a delightful sister from England who shared with our primary children her experiences as a young girl during the air raids of London in World War II.  She spoke of her mother hugging her tightly as she put her onto a train with hundreds of other children to be taken to the countryside for safe-keeping.  Her parents stayed behind to try and maintain employment and care of their home to the best of their ability.  

I cautiously watched the children's faces making sure that the story wasn't too frightening but all I saw was quiet intrigue.  Finally,  she said that when her mom said goodbye she didn't feel terribly frightened, but looked at it like an adventure.  

One of the children asked why she wasn't afraid.  She said that her mom had taught her that God would always be watching over them both no matter what.  She accepted it and believed it.

At this moment many of the little heads in our group began to nod in agreement, as if they not only understood, but agreed.  Even at their tender ages, or maybe because of their tender ages, they accepted that truth with ease.

I have read and heard much about the impact of the pandemic upon the children in our world.  

As one who has studied child development in great depth, and who has observed  and worked with children in many difficult and traumatic situations, there is a common mistake we are making.

Acknowledging and validating that situations are difficult is important.  But if we stop there and just keep saying "this is so hard" over and over again we actually amplify the feelings of despair and discouragement.  If we teach them happiness is impossible when we are not in the ideal, we teach them to never be happy.  Our words become their inner speech, or their self-talk.

When they encounter difficulties or injustices they simply stop and say "this is so hard".

Instead say "this is hard, but I have seen you do lots of hard things before."  Or "I am so glad I know that Heavenly Father knows and loves you.  This might be surprising to us, but nothing ever surprises God.  Would you like to pray together?"  Or "This feels really hard today.  But Jesus has promised to help us with these hard feelings.  I believe in you and so does He." 

Those words will echo through their minds and throughout their lives.  The Holy Ghost will be able to help them recall them at crucial moments.  "This is hard, but I am ready," can become the beat of their personal drum line. Small things really can make great differences. 

Naomi M Shumway offered these words of wisdom, "The universal experience of childhood is marked by common needs and development. Although it occupies only a small fraction of the life span, it has been proved that these are the most crucial years in determining and influencing the course of adult life. How important it is that in these crucial years we tighten the foundation knots of prayer, testimony, and the joy of righteous living. How often we should remember that the Lord has encouraged us to “be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great”.

Make an effort to share the joy and not just the weariness of life today.  

It is not so much the huge lectures, but the quiet reassurances intertwined in daily life that give our children, and thus our future generations the reassurance to meet difficulties head on and resiliently rely on their capabilities with the Lord's help.