The Cliff

 After several years of watching and saving and planning I purchased a Roomba vacuum.  We named her Rosie after the Jetsons' robot. 

It was an excellent purchase that has drastically cut down on the hair from Jett and Onyx and made my life easier.  I love the dogs. They have saved this year for my girls. I hate the hair.

Rosie actually runs twice during the day which also keeps the air cleaner and while my mom was visiting she even did a white sock test that Rosie passed with flying colors.  

Occasionally I get a notification on my phone that Rosie has something caught. When that happens she shuts off and waits and I take care of it when I get home.  Or if school is in virtual phase I have the girls check it out.

One day in December, I received the alarming notification that "Rosie is near a cliff and needs assistance".  

Now I don't know about you but we don't have cliffs in our home.  (We don't even really have cliffs in our state. ) 

We do, however,  have two flights of stairs and I wondered if perhaps Rosie was at the edge.  She normally stays away from those areas,  but I sent a text to Alex and Ella to please go check on her when they were able. 

This photo is what I got in reply.😂😂

Onyx is not a fan of Rosie.  Normally he just goes upstairs while she is running.  He has also learned that if he puts his blankets in front of her sometimes she will stop.  

On this occasion she tried to go over the blanket and got tipped to the point her internal computer was convinced she was teetering on the precipice of a cliff. 

This humorous story actually has been an incredibly helpful analogy for many.  Our school counselor now uses it as well.

We have some anxiety sufferers in our home. I only occasionally experience it but for Alex and Ella it can be especially difficult.  They have very different triggers but the key to helping them has been understanding them.

When severe anxiety sets in it can be very much like having the computer sensors tell your brain that you are teetering on a cliff. 

Rosie was not on a cliff.  That was completely untrue.  But no amount of me telling her "that's not a cliff" was going to help her.  I had to move her back onto solid ground and then she could reset and resume. 

For myself it has been helpful to be able to say to my family, "I know this isn't a cliff but it feels like one so I'm going to need to hang back this time." I remind myself that I'm not making good judgments at those moments so my feelings are vastly amplified.  It also means asking for forgiveness afterwards because I can be hurtful at times as a result.  

I'm working on my skill set. I need to do a better job of shutting off and sending a request for help, not continuing to cause damage. 

We have learned to ask each other, "what do you need to feel safe?" And to give each other space and time. 

In my response to my students, coworkers and kids when they are exhibiting anxiety it has also been helpful.  

For my girls it means helping them to go back to where they felt safe. Sometimes it means actually saying, "I see it and I've got you."  

Often it's not saying anything but being there and breathing with them.  Or doing grounding exercises to get back to what is concretely level for them. 

Mostly it has given us language and understanding to give each other a whole lot of grace.  

It has meant not taking personally hurtful words and actions at those moments but sitting down later and talking about better strategies to deal with them.  

It has also meant apologizing and taking accountability for our own actions even if we were upset when they happened.

Hebrews 10:24 teaches,  "let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works". 

Consider one another.  Think about what they also go through. 

If I am trying to help someone, are my responses provoking love and good action?  If not I may need to adjust how I help.

If I'm needing help, are my requests and responses provoking love and good action? If not, I may need to adjust how I ask and respond. 

In both cases professional help can also be incredibly important. 

I am so thankful for the many ways the Lord allows simple lessons around me to teach me through the Spirit.