Encouraging Me

 One day when one of my children was young I found her facing the mirror.  

"Why can't you do this right? You are always messing things up." She looked with disdain at her reflection.  

My heart nearly broke in two.  I took her in my arms and told her how loved she was. I held her to me as the sobs wracked her little body.  When the shudders slowed enough I listened to her situation and we prayed and asked for help.  

But I felt even worse knowing exactly where she had learned it.  They were the same words I used in my own mind, so the ones that occasionally escaped my tongue when I lost my temper.  

Thankfully, with His grace, over time I have gotten better.  I learned to be more encouraging to myself and pretty soon those were the words that came out instead, even at my moments of intense frustration.   I learned to say "that was hard but you handled it."  "That was painfully disappointing but you owned it, apologized and are trying again. That took courage." Or "you started to lose control but then you stopped and stepped away.  Next time you will notice it even sooner.  Way to go."  

But I am still too hard on myself.   It doesn't come naturally and I wasn't sure how to fix it, but I'm making progress. 

Patricia Holland advised, "When you dwell on your limitations excessively, to the point that they affect your inner view and strength, you mock God in his very creation. You deny the divinity within you. You resist the gift of Christ on the cross. So be patient in your pursuit of perfection."

We can be intentional in building up our own souls as well as those of others. In Ephesians 4:23, Paul counseled, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

You are your number one subscriber, follower and hearer of your own words and thoughts.  

Choose them carefully.