Pause and Listen

 Parenting often gives us lots of opportunities to interpret behavior and make guesses as to what is happening.

Sometimes that is easier than others.

When my daughter was just two or three years old, one day I walked into the bathroom and discovered her completely stripped down with toothpaste smeared all over from her waist to her thighs.

As I saw her there with that blue gel all over her privates I froze. 

I tried to mentally interpret what I was seeing but I had nothing.  Not a single explanation could come to mind.  My instinct was to demand "what on earth are you doing".  But I didn't. I paused. 

"What happened?" I tentatively asked. And then 

I was quiet and listened. 

Her green eyes peered up at me and she confidently stated, "We were out of toilet paper." 😂😂😂

I bit my lip to try and keep from laughing but it was no use.  I giggled as I said, "I see that.  Next time you can just call for me and I'll bring you some."

With a sheepish grin she smiled, "Okay, Mommy."

Then I helped her into the tub and soon she was cleaned off and minty fresh! 😊

Pause and listen.  They aren't always going to get it right (and neither are we!) but when they feel heard and understood they are much more likely to come to us with the more serious issues.  And even in the little things it makes them feel safe, connected and loved.

Elder Ben B Banks taught, "Parents should spend a great deal of time listening, not just telling. This listening should be done with an open mind and heart. When children feel they can talk freely about their feelings, problems, and successes, wonderful relationships develop between parents and children."

For me that means praying specifically for the Holy Spirit to remind me to pause. 

But our children need more than just their parents!

President Rosemary Wixom reminded, "One of the greatest influences a person can have in this world is to influence a child. Children’s beliefs and self-worth are shaped early in their lives. Everyone within the sound of my voice has the power to increase a child’s confidence in himself or herself and to increase a child’s faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ through the words they speak."

"But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God." Matthew 18:16

One of the best ways we can do that is by pausing and listening.  There will be lots of times when what our children need most is a listening ear and a chance to explain, rather than a rush to judgement. 

And it can build precious memories that will make you smile for the rest of your life.