Pride

 

Yesterday I had a third grader who had a rough day.  We had an important practice test and he hadn't charged his device when his teacher told him to.  And then he lost his login card that I handed him. And he tossed candy wrappers on the floor and left them there. And disrupted the test repeatedly.

I went back to his classroom and asked him to come back and clean  up.  

I was frustrated and told him that his behavior wasn't acceptable.  He was frustrated to be missing the first couple minutes of recess to go back and clean up.  

Natural consequences don't always feel great. 

He started to clean up and I saw him fighting tears.  

I stopped and asked him what had gone wrong today.  He looked at the floor and shrugged.  

I waited patiently and then quietly said, "Can you see my eyes? Do I look angry?" 

He slowly looked up and shook his head no and then sobbed, "I'm so sorry Mrs. Potter.  I didn't mean to disappoint you."  He threw his arms around my neck and cried for a minute.  

I reassured him that I was here for him.  And that he could make it right.

Then he said he was worried about the test and could I help him.

We worked on some relaxation techniques and he finished cleaning up and even moved the tables and chairs back into place without me asking.  He wanted to make things right.

When I walked him out yo the playground I watched him walk around the track in deep thought for a few minutes and then skip off to play with his friends.

A short time later a coworker relayed to me her own conversation about why God doesn't want us to be prideful. 

I liked the answer she had come to.  

She said there were two main reasons she could think of.

It keeps us from saying, "I need help."

And it keeps us from saying, "I was wrong."

And both of these conditions become barriers for us turning to our Heavenly Father.

"The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts." (Psalm 10:4).

"When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom." (Proverbs 11:2).

When my little friend had knowingly broken our classroom promise of being prepared and being responsible for our environment, he had felt shame.  But when he looked up and asked for help he was able to turn that feeling of shame to a more productive guilt that motivated him to make it right and restore our relationship.  

I can't even begin to count the number of times that I have disappointed my Heavenly Parents.  

I have also felt shame at many times. 

But I recognize that it is my pride- my failure to acknowledge just how much I need the Atonement of Jesus Christ- that leaves me in that spot.  It's when I won't say "I was wrong."  And it's when I won't say "I need help".  

And I have been wrong a lot.

And I need help a lot.

I truly need Him every hour.  And just like I was waiting with open arms for my precious student, He is waiting with open arms and more love that we can even imagine.