Soul Stretching

 

We drove 3.5 hours each way to the town where the viewing was held for our student's dad.  

It's where the bulk of the family live.  

Where grandparents and uncles and cousins can surround them in love and they can mourn together.  

Where they can begin to patch pieces of their broken lives back together.

It was a long drive, especially on a school night, but we made it out of love for a precious girl.

There are several things I will never forget.

The sound of her little voice ringing out, "Mrs HK" as she ran across the parking lot and into the arms of her teacher.  

Her confidently introducing us to her family members over and over again.  "This is my teacher.  This is my principal.  This is my counselor.  This is my Spanish teacher."

I was her Spanish teacher for 15 minutes a week when she was in kindergarten.  Never doubt the difference we can make.  

One of my colleagues approaching the deceased's mom whom she had never met and embracing her as she said "I have a 27 year old son too."  And they quietly sobbed together.

The pleading questions about her son's salvation as the mom questioned some of his choices but resolutely stood by her deep love for him and the good man she saw bathing his kids and tucking them in at night.  

The little girl carefully flipping through each of the cards her classmates had made, reading them aloud and gently tracing her friends names and then holding them to her chest.  And then opening the cards from the school librarian, other teachers and our staff...and smiling.

A sweet little smile with two thick dark braids and sad eyes looking up at us and asking, "Do you want to see my Daddy?" She took us by hand and led us to the coffin where he laid.  

She now knows that there are those who stepped onto that side of her grief with her.  And it will make her first day back next week just a bit easier.  

I have had so many tutorials on mourning with those who mourn, but it seems there is always more for me to learn. 

I am not sure why I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many sincerely good people, but they are forever teaching me.

I have learned that mourning with those who mourn looks a little bit different every single time. But that it's always the right thing to do. 

Make the drive. Even if it's far.

Send the card. Even if you aren't sure what to say.

Listen. Even if it's uncomfortable.

Hug. Even if you've never met. 

Cry.  Even if you didn't know them. 

Show up. Even if you have to do it alone. 

Love.  Even if you aren't sure how to do it "right".  

It's what we have covenanted to do.  And it will stretch our souls.

As Neal A Maxwell explained, "I thank him who did everything perfectly for sharing his precious work with those of us who then do it so imperfectly.  I testify that he and the Father are serious about stretching our souls in this second estate. I thank him for truly teaching us about our personal possibilities and for divinely demonstrating directions—not just pointing."

Jesus showed us, he didn't just tell us.  

It's one of the ways we can follow him.