Warm and Strict

 



Sometimes what may seem like opposites aren't. 


Like being warm and being strict. 


Doug Lamov does a great job of explaining that not only do we sometimes need to be strict and sometimes need to be warm, but we frequently need to do them at the same time. 


It's not that we love someone and we also need them to have consequences.  It's that they need to have consequences BECAUSE we love them and we desire for them to learn and grow and progress. 


This is true of our role as teachers, parents, managers, and many more.  


One way that we can express that caring love is by explaining the why. 


For instance, I had a student who was talking and giggling to her friend during class.  I reminded them once and then quickly told them that I knew they were really good friends and cared about each other, but that we would find another time for them to spend time together.  Right now I needed them to move to their tables so that everyone could hear the lesson and they could do their best learning.  They quickly moved to their seats and then at the start of recess I made a partner switch later when they could work on a task together.  


I was firm but loving. 


By acknowledging what their desire was I showed them I valued them and their wants and needs.  But I still held them to the class rule. 


You know who else is like that?


Our Heavenly Father! 


He has laws with blessings predicated upon those laws.  


D&C 130:20-21-

"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."


Not because he is mean or heartless.


But because he loves us enough to help us see and learn the natural blessings that come about when we live according to His Plan of Happiness.


Repentance isn't a punishment, it's a means and process of change that we should be so very, very grateful for!! 



From a Father who honors justice fully, and loves us way too much to let us flounder alone.  But also who grants us our agency, and allows us to choose our path.  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Never Fall Away

Image
  In Alma chapter 23, the sons of Mosiah preached to the Lamanites. The law was declared that the word of God could not be obstructed. Note that the law did NOT say that everyone had to embrace and follow it, but their synagogues and temples and homes should be open to them. And then in verse six, something stuck out to me. Something that applies to our day. “They were converted unto the Lord and never did fall away.” NEVER DID FALL AWAY?? That sounds  like an important need in our day.   My immediate question was HOW?  So I read more closely. Verse 7: “For they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God any more, neither against any of their brethren.”  They became a righteous people. They did lay down the weapons of their rebellion. They did not fight against God. They did not fight against their brethren. So what does that mean for us?  BECOME a righteous people.  Be willi
Read more

Trust

Image
  As I was riding a bike down the former train route along the Idaho-Montana border, I had hours to quietly reflect and appreciate the lush mountain landscape extending around me as far as I could see.   I was in a prayerful state, open to the promptings of the Spirit.   At one point I came to the edge of a meadow and needed to sit and rest for a bit.   There I found a lovely rustic bench made from a tree right there in the forest.  And it occurred to me how often the things we need are right there in our lives around us. The people, the resources, our talents and gifts. Psalm 34:8 lovingly promises “O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him”. He will provide.   And as we learn to recognize that help, we will become more grateful and happy. 
Read more

Seeing

Image
  Even after a full semester, the young 7th grader, who I will call Anna, didn’t seem to have any friends. She said didn’t mind and felt anxious around people.   I rotated her through groups and she would participate as directed but rarely smiled, although she didn’t seem particularly sad or distraught either.   More of an acceptance that this was her life. She didn’t ever talk back or ask questions but she also didn’t complete assignments quite right.  Her other teachers also said that she didn’t follow directions well.   I was patient.  Building trust.  With her and within our classroom.  This had to be a safe place to share the hard parts. And two months ago she finally told me.  She couldn’t see the board.   As in she couldn’t read it without getting within 6 inches of the board! I immediately emailed our school nurse who gave her a screening.  When I asked Anna she said that the test was fine. But the troubles persisted and finally I reached out to her mom and expla
Read more