Be Thankful for the Now

 

I specifically remember the day of my oldest two children's 5th grade graduation.  It meant the end of their little cohort going through school together.  The end of their time at their elementary where I personally knew all the teachers and was an active part of the PTO.  

I also recognized that was the end of that phase of childhood.  And I was right.  Things would change.  

I would miss the story times and knowing they were just down the block.  Thirty second showers when we would have to send them back again.  The years of losing teeth and daily discovery about the world around them.  Knock-knock jokes and tickles.  Climbing off the bus and running to the door. 

I would miss me being at the center of their worlds.  

But I would shift to being at the crossroads of their days.

There would also be more independence.  More deep friendships.  More of them

making choices and less of me.

But I knew that getting too hung up on the past could make me miss the "now". 

I made a conscious decision to try not to let the end of summer make me miss the splendor of fall.  

 Ecclesiastes 7:10 teaches, "Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not inquire wisely concerning this."

As Will Graham recently wrote, "It’s tempting to romanticize the past and grow sorrowful in nostalgia.”

(We also might look at the past too critically, focusing more on the negative memories than on the positive.  Research shows that hurtful childhood experiences absolutely impact us, but that so do positive.  And research reminds us that our brains' negativity bias gives seven times the focus to the bad.  So be aware that our perceptions may not be perfectly accurate. )

Perhaps that's why Solomon in his wisdom said it was unwise to ask why things can't be just like in the old days.  

Because it makes us miss the beauty and rewards of what is happening right now.  

Even if it's not what we expected.  

Even if we don't yet know how to appreciate this phase.  

I thought about that a lot this weekend as I watched my 24-year old daughter and two of her friends come home and celebrate with us.  

They included my 17-year old.  

They laughed and played games and told stories.

They watched movies and won prizes and when I wasn't feeling great they let me read and nap on the couch  and they made pies and did dishes and decorated our tree.  

They shared their hopes and dreams and disappointments and plans and reminded me what it was like to be young.  

And when they left they were grateful and stripped their own bedding.  🙃

So yes, sometimes I miss footed pajamas and hugs and giggles and waiting to see Santa. 

But today has its own rich magic.  And I'm so glad I didn't miss it.