Troubles

 I had grand plans as I often do.

I wasn't even aiming for a perfect Christmas, just good enough to have a sprinkling of magic.  Many years this would have made me feel like exploding with failure when it didn't happen.  Aging and perspective have helped me.  I now knew from the beginning it was just a guide line, a wish list of sorts and not success criteria. 

That Jesus' gift to us is complete and wonderful and inclusive without ANYTHING we do. So I chose to take a humor approach and focus on all that is to come. 

I had my list:

Write Christmas Letter and send cards.

I revamped to no Christmas letter and if your last name starts with A-F you are in luck. I'll start at Z next year. 

Create and deliver gifts to friends. 

Two lucky recipients may or may not get them delivered on Christmas Eve.

Bake cookies.

I did buy butter.  And with grocery prices what they are I suppose most people would be thrilled with that butter by itself and if I threw in eggs it's truly a gift from the heart, right?

Order gold, frankincense and myrrh to create special meaningful nativity lesson. (Ridiculously over the top- I know😂)

I just found a package of frankincense Amazon delivered two weeks ago.  I put it straight in the Christmas box for another year.

Make the beds for guests.

Make sure there is at least one set of clean sheets per bed.  We can all have a bed making party when we get back.

Order a new swimsuit (we are going to be at an indoor water park for a few days).  

Never happened.  Didn't even look.  I can just use the washer at the condo...which reminds me I forgot the tide pods.

Vacuum and clean out car.

Remove my school backpack, all of the concert programs from the last few weeks (one is torn and soiled- oh well - I won't have to feel guilty for not scrapbooking it), and find the last bag of groceries from my run yesterday.  Send up a quick prayer of gratitude it wasn't the Icecream. 

Clean baseboards.  Really?  Just cross it off.  

Thaw turkey.  I did remember to do this and went ahead and threw out the cranberries from Thanksgiving. 

Wrap gifts.  My generous friend helped with this so everyone gets 1-2 nicely done packages.  And the rest are  in gift bags.... and a few have names from last year crossed out and this years written in.

Get gas so we can leave on time.  Hand George my debit card so he can do it on the way home from the game he worked.

Deliver donations for hygiene kits for Catholic Charities.  I did at least purchase them.  And had Ella drop them off at a friends house who will deliver them for me. 

Deep clean bathrooms- quick swipe of counters, sink and mirrors.  Make sure cleaning supplies are available in each bathroom for guests to clean to their level if needed. 😬

Pause at the row of stockings with the names of my people on them.  Smile at the memory of talking to Alex yesterday and seeing her so happy and joyful on her mission.  Feel the excitement of knowing we will see Colton and Ali and Kyrie tomorrow and they will all pitch in for a wondrously together time.  There will probably be arguments, food will burn, we will discover what else we forgot, but it will be us. Competitive personalities and shared quarters undoubtedly will bring moments of unity but also moments of stress.  And expecting it takes the frustration away to a degree. And then my parents and brothers will join us.  And Kyrie's basketball team.  

As my friend Amy says, "Full house, full hearts."

But the gift of Christmas is also for empty houses, broken hearts, fractured families, the tired and the weary, the struggling and the lost, and the sinners-  yep, that's all of us.  

 I think of Luke 10 when Jesus is visiting Martha and Mary. Martha is scurrying about trying to make her home hospitable for her guest.  She is frustrated that Mary is simply sitting at his feet.  Then Jesus says, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

Can you imagine his gentle voice saying your name? 

"Natalie, Natalie, you had a great plan and want so much for it to go well and I see and acknowledge all you are doing but I see the stress you carry.  

Stop.  Feel.  Pray.  

I am Christmas.  Everlastingly."

Focus on the forever.  

For unto to us a Savior is born.