Preschool Rules

 

In frustration I finally pulled out my preschool behavior sort and laid the cards on the table for the seventh grader I was sitting next to.  

"Kicking," he read.  

"Helpful or hurtful?"

We repeated the process with sharing, interrupting, hitting, caring for materials, and many others.

Later that day I reflected in frustration that I had needed to use preschool materials and skills practice for a seventh grader.

My wise husband simply replied, "Well actually we really do need the same skills and are still working on them, right?"

I thought about that.  

What would our world be like if we all followed the four preschool cardinal rules?

Kind words. Walking feet.  Gentle hands.  Listening ears. 

I also smiled as I heard Sister Tamara Runia ask those same reflection questions in her recent conference address.  "Before we interact with a loved one, can we ask ourselves the question “Is what I’m about to do or say helpful or hurtful?” Our words are one of our superpowers, and family members are like human blackboards, standing in front of us saying, “Write what you think of me!” These messages, whether intentional or unintentional, should be hopeful and encouraging."

Kind words.  (My students first said happy words but it's okay not to be happy all the time- so we made it kind words- it's always important to notice how our words impact others and ourselves.) So no lying or meanness.  Less faultfinding and more complimenting.  Less arguing and more praising.  The Apostle Paul’s statement to Timothy fits well: “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”  Sometimes physically biting our tongue may be necessary as we practice extending the pause between being triggered and responding.  And kind words includes the words sent from our keyboards.

Walking feet.  Perhaps walking beside someone.  Serving.  Working hard.  Or moving forward in faith.  Elder Dale G Renlund instructed, "... most blessings that God desires to give us require action on our part—action based on our faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in the Savior is a principle of action and of power."

Gentle hands.  More outreached hands and less mocking or pointing fingers.  More hugs and less cold shoulders.  President Howard W Hunter exclaimed, "We need to be kinder with one another, more gentle and forgiving. We need to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. In short, we need to love one another with the pure love of Christ, with genuine charity and compassion and, if necessary, shared suffering, for that is the way God loves us."

Listening ears.  Listening is a skill that can be developed.  We can listen for understanding instead of planning our next response.  We can practice listening and responding to promptings.  Sister Runia further taught, "Sometimes what we need is empathy more than advice; listening more than a lecture; someone who hears and wonders, “How would I have to feel to say what they just said?”  One of the hardest part of this skill is remembering that more often than not BOTH individuals in a difficult moment need to practice this skill- not just one of us and more often than not we are EACH feeling like the one misunderstood.  

It is difficult to change and reset patterns but will help us to improve our relationships with others in infinite ways.

Kind words.  Gentle hands. Walking feet.  Listening ears.