I’m Sorry

 

Seventh grade teasing amongst  3 boys who were close friends, had gotten out of hand and one ended up in tears after a comment about a haircut hit more personally than they anticipated.

I had met with all three boys and we had a solid plan - they had agreed to use the phrase “too far” as a safe indicator that the teasing wasn’t fun anymore.  We had role played and practiced and I was now with one in the office reporting to an administrator.  

I explained that when I got them to quit wrestling and nervous laughing for a minute (a victory in itself with this crew 😂) and they had gathered around the table with me, I allowed the upset student to share why he was upset.  Two things happened almost simultaneously.

One student immediately launched into a defense strategy (even though he had been equally at fault). 

The other immediately went still, looked across the table and quietly said “I’m sorry.  That was on me.”

The administrator then said something powerful to our young friend.

“A friend who will own his own behavior and apologize without making excuses? That’s a friend to keep around! We are all human and will all make mistakes.  But that’s what you want in a friend.”

I wish I could say I hadn’t landed on the defensive side of the coin as often as I have.  

But I’m grateful to that boy and that leader who reminded me of this important part of being a good friend. 

It reminded me of Elder Rasband’s words at General Conference last weekend.

“Let me suggest three simple phrases that we can use to take the sting out of difficulties and differences, lift, and reassure each other:

“Thank you.”

“I am sorry.”

And “I love you.””

The words had been sincerely said.  The relationship repaired. And they were already planning to meet at the park on their bikes.