There is Room

 After a week of state required testing, my EL students were tired.

Tired of sitting.  Tired of reading phrases and examples out of context.  Tired of staring at screens. Tired of worrying about a number they didn’t fully understand, but that would define them.

So today for my class we did a quick practice exercise and then practiced our English while coloring, creating art projects, building with Lego sets and dominos or playing games.  The only caveat was they could only speak in English- not Spanish, Russian or Ukrainian.  

They were delighted as they sprawled along the floor, retreated to quiet corners or buddied up.  

I circulated and one group of girls caught my attention.  

There were 5 of them, but one was sitting on the outside edge.  And the girls had decided to play Trouble.   With enthusiastic giggles they pressed the pop-o-matic bubble and moved their pawns around the board.  

Four players- five girls.  

Four spoke Spanish as their native tongue, although they came from Venezuela, the Dominican Republic, and two different regions of Mexico.

The other  arrived not too long ago from war-torn Ukraine.

The first four each took a token and gathered around the board- one to each side, and the last girl was left out. 

Physically excluded as the circle slightly tightened, edging her out.

I saw the girl on the outside.  Her eyes fell and her shoulders slumped.

I wanted to jump in, but I paused to see who would notice and how they would react.  

But the four girls were intent on the game.  It hadn’t been intentional but they were unaware.  So I quietly nudged the two closest to me and gave a subtle head nod toward the outsider.

One girl immediately looked at me with confusion.  “It’s  for four players.”

The other, without skipping a beat, slid over and said in somewhat broken English, “You can sit by here.  There is room in the circle.”

My Ukrainian friend shyly looked to me and I gave her a simple nod and she slid over and smiled.

The first girl was correct.  It was a four player game. 

But the newcomer wasn’t upset she couldn’t play that round, she just wanted to be part of the circle.  

All of us have felt excluded at some point.  

Whether at work, church, school, or even in a public place crowded with people.  

Sometimes we feel like the odd one out because of differing circumstances, lifestyles, personal choices, income or educational levels or history together.  

Sometimes those differences are real.

Sometimes they are due to perception or unmet expectations -both reasonable and unreasonable.

Nearly all people could do a better job of inclusion, and that starts with increased personal awareness. 

Speaking of a scripture in Alma, Elder Adney Y Kumatsu taught, “The fact that people are physically nearby, regardless of the setting, does not always equate to feelings of acceptance, understanding, inclusion, and fellowship. In too many cases, the reverse may be true. Feelings of acceptance and inclusion come when someone invites us into their circle of friendship and activity. Far beyond fun and games, activities represent at least one nonthreatening way to accept, include, understand, and fellowship others. Perceived in this manner, activities become another vehicle to show charity, love, kindness, forgiveness, service, and to include and not exclude. Amulek said, “If ye do not remember to be charitable, ye are as dross, which the refiners do cast out, (it being of no worth).” 

My teens are learning.  But empathy and including are skills that for most humans dios n’t come naturally.  They can, however, be taught and learned.  

And if my sweet little friend from Venezuela could slide a few inches to the side to invite a 13 year Ukrainian refugee to have a place, most of us can also look around and shift a little.  

And there simply is no better response to our own feelings of loneliness, than to look around and make room for another at our table.