Stronger Through Him

  Sometimes we get news we don't love. I have had multiple surgeries on both knees over the years. This time, I wasn't even sure what I had done to injure it. I just knew it was swollen and hurting after a bike ride. I could call it mountain biking because I was on a bike and it was in the moutains. But it could also be called coasting downhill the whole way. At slow and leisurely speeds. No matter what I call it, I have now had a cortisone injection, anti-inflammatories, exercises, rest, ice, time on crutches and it still was causing me problems. Yesterday the orthopedist showed me on the xrays that what's left of my miniscus is full of calification and that multiple places its just good old fashioned arthritis - bone on bone causing the pain. And of course lupus likes to find the weak link to attack so my knee it is! I was really hoping for a quick surgical fix like I have had in the past. He said that won't be happening this time. There is just too much damage

 I can’t see these splendidly intricate beauties in my front yard without thinking of the Savior’s words. “Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” They don’t try to be something they aren’t.  They just bloom where they are planted and they grow. Sometimes I worry and work too hard at being what I am not.   Comparing myself far too critically to others.  Just let yourself grow and your unique intricacies and gifts blossom to add beauty and love to the lives of others. Grow.  I can do that.

 Today is our first student day and my friend and coworker went out front, as is her tradition, and gathered teachers to leave messages for the students. What a beautiful way to be welcomed.   It left me with this simple thought. What message do I send to others?  Elder M Russell Ballard reminded, “The spirit of true Christian fellowship must include everyone. Our understanding of the gospel should help us see clearly that all people are our brothers and sisters, children of our Heavenly Father. Perhaps more of us could emulate this example.”

  The last week has been filled with a myriad of emotions and I’ve had many experiences that I will be writing about and some that I won’t. I am reminded of Luke Chapter 2 where it says that “Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Some things are too tender to share. Or too sacred. Sometimes we just don’t have the words yet. And sometimes we keep them in our hearts to ponder on privately. And that’s okay too.  

  I was reading through some previous journal entries and it suddenly occurred to me that I have only ever thought about innkeepers in the context of Christmas. Yet the man who was beaten and left to die on the road to Jericho was helped by the Good Samaritan and taken to an inn where his bill was paid.   But I have never thought about the innkeeper in that story.   The one who would have been helping treat his wounds and providing extended care.   The one who provided safety and space for healing.  Often times Jesus is the Good Samaritan.  He has picked me up and led me to innkeepers in spiritual and physical terms.   Of course there have been seasons where that care DIDN’T seem to be provided and the gift of hindsight has helped to soften the hurt edges and to lend grace and understanding to others as I am more aware of how my prickly edges made serving me harder at those times.   There have also been seasons where I needed to learn and go through things on my own to d

 Selah. Its a word used more than 70 times in the Bible.  It means to pause.  To reflect.  And sometimes to praise. I love that it is built into many psalms. Because sometimes in my rush to accomplish all the things on my to do list, I fail to remember this part of scripture study. The ponder.  The apply.  Sometimes the answers to my prayers. So this morning I read Psalm 46:1-3: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. Selah. And I paused and reflected. I thought of all the times and ways my loving heavenly parents have provided safety and refuge from me.   How they have strengthened and loved me.   Even when; no, especially when, things have been hard.   Selah.

 Yesterday I went to my friend Rachael’s celebration of life. Her husband shared some of the things he thought she would like us all to know. She had some of the most incredible faith I have ever seen and this was one of the passages out of her journal after she learned that the cancer had returned and metastasized. “The key to faith in hard times is remembering God’s promises; counting on Him to be the the one He says He is, who will do what He says He will.”  How do we know God’s promises? By studying His word.  And doing what He says to. D&C 82:10. I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise. Thank you Rachael, for your example.

  One of Satan’s favorite tools is discouragement.   And it is super effective.   If we can look around and feel like there is no hope and no point in trying; that the world is too far gone so why bother, than he doesn’t have to worry about us doing good. In Alma 35 we find Alma discovering that the people have returned to wickedness and sin.   Verse 15:  “Now Alma, being grieved for the iniquity of his people, yea for the wars, and the bloodsheds, and the contentions which were among them; and having been to declare the word, or sent to declare the word, among all the people in every city; and seeing that the hearts of the people began to wax hard, and that they began to be offended because of the strictness of the word, his heart was exceedingly sorrowful” Contention. Violence.  “The gospel is too strict, too hard”.  “I don’t care.”  Hard hearts.  Offended. Sounds a lot like today, doesn’t it? So what does he do? Verse 16: “Therefore, he caused that his sons should be gathered togeth