What Am I Asking?

 Some days I need a gentle whisper or nudge.

Or just a hand to hold me up.

Other days my mind is more clear, and I am reading and studying on a deeper plane.

And there is truly beauty in each.

But this week has been some deeper reading and consequently deeper thinking.

A question posed by CS Lewis, one which he said many Christians - including himself- honestly probably struggle with- has had me reflecting at a deeper level.  And hopefully making some adjustments. 

CS Lewis spoke of repentance and asked the challenging question-  am I truly asking for forgiveness and accepting my wrong? Or am I asking for God to accept my excuses for my wrong? He already knows our excuses and our circumstances much better than we do.  He is looking for a contrite spirit, remorse and a change of heart (or at least a real desire for that change) concerning the part we did wrong- the sin.

Scripture reminds, 

“For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent⁠;

But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;

Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.”

We are invited to partake of His sacrament, to accept his sacrifice and to seek forgiveness, have a change of heart and truly repent, or change.  

It made me reexamine my experience with the Sacrament this week.  Maybe it can help you with yours as well.