I’m Sorry

 



This book was recommended and is full of solid advice on how to sincerely and not-so-sincerely apologize.


In the story the boy (who knocked down his classmate’s castle) starts out by simply saying “sorry”. 


And then morphs that word into “I’m sorry you got mad.”


His teacher guides him through the process as he tries again and again.


He finally owns that he knocked over her castle, but still detaches that from her response.  “I knocked over the castle.  I’m sorry you got mad.”


His teacher wisely teaches that there are three parts to a sincere apology:

1.  State what you did wrong. 

2. Say you are sorry. 

3. Make ammends if possible. 


In NEST language we say:

Own It.

Apologize.

Make it right.


In a world where this is not inherently part of our culture and we instead focus on blame or excuses, this is something that must be concretely taught to children and reinforced and retaught to adults.


Elder Ronald A Rasband, in his talk on the importance of words emphasized the necessity of the phrase “I am sorry.”


“We can say “I am sorry” when we make a mistake, miss a meeting, forget a birthday, or see someone in pain.”

“Do not save these humble phrases for a special event or catastrophe. Use them often and sincerely, for they show regard for others. Talk is growing cheap; do not follow that pattern.”


Back to our story, our young friend finally got it right.


“I am very sorry  I knocked down your castle.  I know, I hurt your feelings. I want to help you build a new one if that’s OK. But you don’t have to let me.”

-Your friend Jack


Words matter.  


Apologizing with sincerity is crucial for forgiveness and unity.

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