Goodbye

 

Morning elementary carline duty gives us a glimpse into family patterns and lives.  It's a beautiful thing.

One thing I have noted is what makes the biggest difference in starting a child's school day.

It doesn't matter if they are wearing Gap or Goodwill. 

It doesn't matter if their car is freshly vacuumed or overflowing with discarded chicken nuggets and all the fliers sent home over the last month.

It doesn't matter if they are the first in line or rolling in as the bell rings.

It doesn't matter if it's mom or dad or a grandparent or babysitter.

What matters most is the way they say goodbye.  

The "I love you".  

And the I love you can sound different in many ways.

"Love you, Bud."

"Te amo."

"I love you."

"You've got this."

"I'll be waiting when you get home."

"See you tonight.  Love you!"

Sometimes it's a quick hug.  Sometimes it's little hands making a heart and Grandpa snapping a picture.  Sometimes it's a high-five.

When kids cry is when parents forget to say goodbye in their rush to be on to their next responsibility.  Or drive away without waving back.  Or have their last word be one in frustration.

Parenting is hard.  Mornings are stressful.  Kids are not always compliant.  Sometimes they seem bent on making us feel like failures.  But that last word- whether at home as they get on the bus or in the carline as they are dropped matters.  

At every age. 

Barbara Thompson echoed this sentiment when she said, "Remember that it takes a lot of patience to raise a child. As precious as they are, children can be exasperating, frustrating, and sometimes even naughty. It takes a tremendous amount of patience and restraint in order to avoid doing or saying things we will later regret. Sometimes parents need to put themselves in “time-out” in order to avoid making serious mistakes."

None of us is perfect.  We lose our cool.  But we can still try to always have our last words be I love you.