Stronger Through Him

  I was watching two boys at indoor recess last week playing with a train set.   One of the trains  was "derailed" by a girl walking too closely to the tracks, much to the chagrin of the other child who promptly burst into tears.  He immediately ran over to the edge of the room and began sobbing into his arms while kicking his feet. I then watched the other little boy look at the trains, take a deep breath and scowl.  I moved over and sat down next to him on the carpet.   "It looks like your train is off the tracks." I noted to him. "Yeah.  She knocked it off." "I'm wondering what we should do when our train is off the tracks."  I waited patiently for his response.  I want them to become reflective members of our society.  He looked over at his friend still distressed by the door.   Then he looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "I think we should build the tracks again and get back to playing!"  Sometim

  My very first year teaching preschool in Goshen, I met a beautiful little girl with blonde hair and striking blue eyes.  Her mom told me in broken English that they were Ukranian and her daughter knew no English.   I knelt down and smiled at her and extended my hand.  She shyly stood behind her mom, peeking out and then slowly took my hand and smiled at me. Over the year she quickly picked up English but as she played she would sing sweetly in her home language.  And when she did my heart would bubble with joy for what she brought to our classroom.   At the end of the year, her mom gave me this butterfly keychain to thank me for seeing the potential and beauty in her child and helping her emerge from her "cocoon".  It's still on my keychain to remind me every single day to look for the good and beauty in others and to remember that God isn't done with me yet either.   This week every time I see it, I think of my sweet girl and her family still in Ukraine. 

  In Guatemala, a custom is made of giving people these tiny worry dolls.  Children can tell their worries to the dolls, place them under their pillows and their worries will be replaced with wisdom and strength while they sleep. What a beautiful and empowering custom! I found myself needing some correction in my prayers.  I'm afraid too often I pray asking primarily for the removal of, or absence  of troubles rather than for the strength and wisdom through His grace to handle them.  While it is true that even Jesus Christ once prayed asking that "this cup be removed from me", He also conceded to the Father saying nevertheless not my will, but thine be done. We can turn our worries over to him and pray for wisdom and strength.   I believe that as we do, we will find solutions through inspiration and see growth in ourselves that can't be obtained any other way.   Right now, we are facing a bit of a financial burden as we figure out this next phase of medic

I walked in the door to one super whiny dog whimpering and jumping up on me in obvious distress.  I know that particular sound well.   He literally acts like he is dying and runs back and forth from the various windows to see what he could be potentially missing outside. "Did Ella take Jett on a walk?" "Yes, and Onyx is very upset to have been left behind."   I slipped my tennis shoes back on and grabbed his leash.   Then I paused at the door step.  It was 53 degrees outside.  A blissfully welcome temperature for a February day.  But the six inches of snow and ice we got over the weekend had to go somewhere as it melted.  I looked out at the field and debated going back in to change into my boots.   But Onyx tugged at the leash with the force of a small army and I decided I would "just be careful."  It literally took 30 seconds for my feet to be soaking wet.  And that melting snow and ice meant it was a FREEZING soaking wet.   And then we headed across the

  I was at the grocery store today and inwardly cringing at price increases.  Seriously? $6 for dinner rolls? And $8/lb for ground beef! I thought about my grocery budget and our family shifts to more simple meals and budget reallocation.  Fortunately 14 years on one teacher's salary taught us how to not just make due with less, but thrive.   Then I watched an elderly lady carefully checking and rechecking the prices and putting things back on the shelf with a sad shake of her head.  Things like oatmeal. And cheese. And I thought of the times in our life when an extra $10-15 for groceries would have been an impossibility.  I thought of the families I know who were struggling to get by BEFORE prices started to climb.  Then I thought of my Grandma  and that this sweet woman in front of me was possibly someone's grandma.  And that I didn't want her to go to sleep with hunger pangs. I handed her some cash (which I almost never have with me) and told her to make sure

  When I woke up to blue skies and sparkly white snow glistening in the sun, I could feel my spirits lifting.  I told my husband I was going to head out on a walk to capture some of the magical wonderland through my lens. Only it hurt to walk to the kitchen.  And my body was exhausted. And my balance was very precarious.  And my right eye's vision was still completely blurry.  It's my fault.  When I filled my weekly pill organizer last week I had noticed I only had enough of my new medicine to last four days.   But then I forgot.  And didn't call in the refill.  The good news is the medicine is working!  It keeps my nerve endings much calmer and lowers the inflammation in my joints and brain and eyes.  Like it's supposed to.   But it doesn't work if I don't take it.... I also didn't realize how quickly and detrimentally my body would respond to the lack of it.  Which was reinforced by my doctor sending in the refill within the hour rather than t

  My friend has been telling me for awhile now how much she enjoys pickle ball and inviting me to join her.   Often times I'm too tired or have other conflicts but tonight I went to play for the first time.  I immediately moved to the "newbie" court and began to learn the rules, scoring and to begin basic play.   I was definitely on the right court as my backhand rocketed the ball directly out of bounds every time.  MServing brought back painful memories of the anxiety of stepping up to the line to serve during eighth grade volleyball.  And our newbie group actually had a lot in common with a middle school volleyball game but slowly we began to increase our returns and gain confidence.   There was also lots of laughter amongst us and it was fun because George was playing on the court next to me.  It was also his first time playing, but his table tennis skills transferred well.   He had to leave early to go work a game.  And then they asked me to step in and play

  We had the most beautiful lesson on compassion in Relief Society today by my friend Julie.  Here are some of the thoughts I don't want to forget. Empathy is feeling what another (to the best of our ability) is feeling.  Compassion is acting on those feelings.  This is the part where many of us get hung up in hesitation. In the action.   Compassion actually comes from the root words meaning "to suffer with".  So opportunities for compassion are going to be found when we join others in their hard times.  And human failings.  Or when we let others join us in ours. And they will come. Some people more naturally have compassion than others.  All can gain this gift through intentional practice and divine help.   There is a powerful force in recognizing that as we offer compassion to others in spite of weaknesses and sin, we can also be more compassionate with ourselves in spite of our own weaknesses and sins.   Sometimes we will offer compassion and they still won&

 Abraham (Abram) had a lot stacked against him. He was surrounded by wickedness and idolatry.   Wickedness and idolatry to the point of offering up human sacrifice.  Including his own father and relatives.   Yet Abraham looks around and knows he wants something different.  Something higher.  Something holier.  He does not let himself be limited by his family history or circumstances; but he also knows he will need help and some incredibly hard things are ahead. In Abraham 1:1 we read, "I, ​​​Abraham​, saw that it was needful for me to obtain another place of ​​​residence​;" He saw the need for change and recognized he couldn't make the changes he was desiring if his environment stayed the same.   Some times we stand in holy places and be not moved and sometimes we have to move to holy places before we can stand.

  Ella had a hard time last night.   Understandably. She had a probe threaded through her nose and down into her stomach which measured the acidity and level of her reflux over a 24 hr period. It was taped to her cheek and neck and attached to a device that collected the data. Unfortunately  when she swallowed,  her throat tried to propel the wire downward and it would pull on the tape.  Which hurt and was incredibly annoying.   She also had to wake up every four hours for breathing treatments. So needless to say it was a night long on complaints and tears and short on sleep at the hotel.   Kyrie, her older sister, had driven over to help support and distract her and was sleeping next to her. I got up the first several times and helped encourage her and get her supplies, but I was also tired.  It was hard to watch her hurting but it also was something that needed to be done to collect critical data for managing her plan. At one point as she was crying in pain and fru

  This is one of the scriptures that my daughter,  Ella,  has memorized.   And memorization is really hard for her.  But we are relying on this today as she heads into the hospital to begin 24 hrs of testing and procedures. We trust her doctors implicitly, especially her pulmonologist who has been guiding her respiratory plan since the night she was born when her lungs were the size of kidney beans.  But we lean on the Lord and know that his plan is good.  No matter what. Not always easy.  But He will direct our paths.  And we choose to follow Him. Completely. 

  At the end of a long day at work I took the kids outside where parents who park and walk up can retrieve their kids.  It's next to the bus zone so we require parents to park and walk and not drive through the bus zone. The line to pick up your kids while staying in your car is in the back and much longer.  Those willing to exit their vehicles and take a few extra steps can get out faster.   But we always have a couple of parents trying to skip the long line but not park and get out and they pull into the bus zone.  Today that parent actually stopped in the middle of the road and honked and motioned for her child to run across the parking lot.   I quickly approached her car and said, "I'm sorry but this is a bus zone and you can't stop here." She rolled her eyes and flippantly responded, "I'm sick." I took a deep breath.  "I'm sorry, but this is still a bus zone." She began screaming swear words at me with her child standi

  I have always thought of Zion in terms of how we live amongst one another here on earth.  But this verse changed it a bit for me: JST Genesis 9:22 ​​And this is mine everlasting covenant, that when thy posterity shall embrace the truth, and look upward, then shall Zion look downward, and all the heavens shall shake with gladness, and the earth shall tremble with joy;​ When we embrace truth, aligning with Jesus Christ no matter how small that truth may be at the moment.... and look up... looking toward Heaven and God and our many loved ones who have crossed the veil ahead of us...... Then Zion looks down....all those who also align with Christ look back at us.  Can you see your grandparents, leaders, beloved friends or precious children? Then the heavens shake with gladness...  they are so filled with joy at each good step we take....at each glance upward...... and we can feel the joy too.  Not 24/7.  Not to the exclusion of the very real pain and grief we feel.  But