Stronger Through Him

  Standing in line to enter my son's college graduation convocation, the conversation directly behind me caught my attention.  "Hey man, what are you doing here?" "J invited me.  To be honest it feels super weird." "Why?" "I don't even know him that well, and everyone here is family and close friends.  But I got the feeling that he maybe didn't have anyone to invite." Compassion for a stranger I would never meet flooded my heart and mind. No one?  "I don't know.  Maybe I should just leave." "Up to you man." Before I even realized it I had turned around. "No!"  I pleaded.  "Stay.  Showing up for people matters.  It can be life changing for some.  And for you." "Really?" This young man, stepping out of his comfort zone, looked me in the eye.   I nodded.  "Always show up when you can. It will make a difference.  You might always know how, but it will.&quo

  An angry   scowl and persistent tapping on her desk. Spilled snack and a jumble of items all over her space. Slumped shoulders and exaggerated sighs. A very frustrated teacher and a third grader with her heels dug in.  Way in. I recognized the look because I've been there. The days (or weeks or months) where NOTHING goes right. Where it feels like the whole world is against you. Where no effort is enough or good enough. And it's all but impossible to remember anything but the intense emotion of the moment. We don't even show it much differently as adults, do we?  So at her teacher's request she sat with me for a bit during recess. "Do you like how you are feeling right now?" I asked. She slowly shook her head back and forth and the tears started to fall. I let her cry for a few minutes and then prompted, "What is the voice in your head saying right now?"   She mumbled some ugly and unkind things. "Let's repla

 When is the last time you participated in a stoning? It's a powerful question.  In John 8 we read of a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery.   I hate that part of the story.  Because where is her partner in crime?  If she was caught in the act, who are the cowards who only dragged her out and not the man as well?  But fortunately this story isn't about the sin. But rather the sinners.  All of them.  The woman, and all those gathered in the square to stone her.   What a barbaric and terrible practice that really comes down to people hefting rocks at others for their visible sins in the hopes that their own sins won't be noticed. Jesus replies to let those without sin cast the first stone.   And one by one the people walk away until he asks her where her accusers are.   Then he tells her to go her way and sin no more.  He doesn't accuse her.  He doesn't need to.  He already knew all he needed to.   He offers mercy and promise in the days to come.  By walk

 Today as I was sitting in sacrament meeting, I was reminded of someone who impressed me when I was a teen. My dad was serving in the high council, which meant he traveled to speak in different congregations on Sundays.  He asked me to be his speaking partner which I agreed to do as long as I could also stay for youth classes and see my friends.  As a part of that I had the opportunity to visit one specific ward multiple times.   And every time we went, my friend's grandmother would be sitting on the second row looking up with a genuine smile of engagement the entire time. I remember sitting on the stand next to my dad  and thinking that there was something special about her.  That she would always stay engaged and smiling no matter the message. It never looked fake or forced.  Just like she was happy to be there. And whenever I felt nervous I could look to her and smile and relax.   When stake conference came I immediately scanned the crowd, and there she was smiling.   My friend

 Years ago my husband was traveling to Europe for a wedding and had a lengthy layover in Amsterdam.   Knowing that tulips are my favorite flower he carefully selected a package of bulbs to bring home for me to plant.   I was very excited and touched when he brought me those Dutch tulips.  But then as we went to plant them, he noticed in small print on the package: Packaged in France. He was so disappointed and mad!  Isn't life frequently like that? We try to align things so they will work well, only to be met with unexpected disappointment or frustration.   It happens to us all.  President Thomas S Monson taught, "We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude." The choice is ours. We can choose to be mad that the tulips aren't from Holland, or we can appreciate the beauty (and with time, the humor) of French tulips.

 It was 80 degrees two days ago.   So to wake up to snow on the tulips this morning was completely unwanted. Most would agree that snow has its place, but it is not amongst the blooms and warmth of spring and definitely not summer. Proverbs 26:1 describes this very situation and compares it to giving honor to fools. Our pop culture today is full of honoring fools. Those who cheat.  Those who spout off in hatred and anger.  Those who insist we spend money on things that don't matter or last. Those who use and abuse others, setting aside the commandments and will of God.   So it's a good reminder today, to consider who I honor and how.   Fools by their very nature will eventually pay the price for their folly.  But when we give them honor by emulating, highlighting, praising and "liking", we only amplify their harm. Instead speak, share and emulate that which is right in God's eyes.  And bring the warmth of the summer sun into the lives of others.

 Sunday we walked with friends through a nearby retreat which had the Stations of the Resurrection set up.   The woods around us were bursting with fresh life announcing Speing was here to stay.  The sun was warm and it was a beautiful setting to contemplate the feelings and testimonies of those who encountered the resurrected Savior. Nearly all needed some additional recognition to counter their mortal doubts. Thomas needed to physically touch his wounds for the assurance.  And with the artwork and thinking prompt was this reminder.   Scripture teaches us that to some it is given to know Jesus is the Christ through testimony of the Holy Spirit (D&C 46:13).  But if we stop at that verse and don't find that personal testimony coming as we might have expected or hoped, it can lead us to amplify our doubts and step further from the Lord, rather than closer. If we continue reading we will find that verse 14 expresses the additional truth that to others it is given to believe on the

 Wait. It's a word mentioned more than 120 times in the scriptures. And not just mentioned, but taught as a principle with attached blessings.  Instant gratification is not the way of God. It is a false teaching of the world. And we so easily fall prey to it. "You deserve it.  Why wait?  FOMO.  YOLO." What they fail to mention is that many of the true blessings and much of the true joy (and true sorrow) are in the process of life. Instant downloads.  Easy access to credit.  The appearance that everyone else has it all together. Filters to hide the flaws.  Instant gratification for every desire imagined if you just have enough cash.  And so we pray. "Heal me now.  Give me the job.  Change my body. Make me perfect today! Change my spouse.  Where is my answer?" And then we falsely make the wrong conclusions.   God isn't there or doesn't care.  When in fact his pattern teaches us to wait.   To pause.   To try.   To step forward in faith.   To look forward an

 One of my favorite Good Friday messages given by Joseph B Wirthlin. "On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies. On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled. It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God. I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest. But the doom of that day did not endure. The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind. And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wond

  Maundy Thursday. The disciples gather, as they had many times.   But this time it's different.   I wonder if they felt it.  Did they fully understand this would be the last time? As Jesus broke the bread and passed the wine establishing the new covenant, the communion or sacrament, did they try to soak in that last time together? I wonder if they later wished they had. And then, after dinner, Jesus took off his outer robe. And is now dressed as a servant. Then, with a basin of water and a towel he washes the feet of each person at the table.  Dusty, dirty, tired calloused feet.   And he washes them all. Those with more faith and those with less. He even washes the feet of Judas, his betrayer.   Because when he says he came for all that's what he meant.  All.  Even you.  And even me.   Maudy literally means new commandment. And then Jesus taught that new commandment.  Love one another as I have loved you. We are called to live by Jesus' exam

 We were in Memphis, visiting my sister who had a new baby.   In the midst of the busy Easter weekend, we made a Target run and had the Easter loot ready.   I had the brilliant idea to just leave it in the car overnight so the kids wouldn't see it. While I recognized it was going to be warm enough to wear our short sleeved dresses to church, I failed to calculate the corresponding temperature rise in the vehicle. So I had a very disappointed daughter who got a chocolate blob.   We still laugh about this but she REALLY felt like we had failed as parents. And I'm not going to lie.   We have failed.  So many times. But we keep going.  I loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk about parenting this weekend and how he said there may be things which we wish were different but we can start now and turn to Christ for help.  "With God’s help, you can learn to know your children in a pure and heavenly way. I invite you to accept God’s offer to guide your family by personal revelation. Seek H

  I'm being stretched.  Asked to grow.   I've been asked to leave my beloved little elementary school where I spent the last decade loving on littles and growing exponentially myself. They need my help at the Junior High in the fall.  At first I just felt a bit shocked.   It wasn't on my radar.   I don't know those teachers, and it's been a long time since I worked with 7th graders. Lots of worries, concerns and insecurities bolted across my mind and I had to stop and catch my breath.   But then...the thought that 1/7 of the students there are kids from our school.   Our kids. My kids. And tweens and teens need love too.  And boundaries and someone to believe in them. To help them harness the power of learning.  So I talked to my husband and prayed about it and said yes. But for the last two weeks I've been wrestling with the reality. The move actually comes with a reduction in hours and a matching pay cut. The questions.  George also just resigned as the athlet