Stronger Through Him

  Christ's route through Jerusalem and to his crucifixion was along a path which has been called Via Dolorosa, or "sorrowful way." The route leads to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and along the way historical stations of the cross celebrate and bring remembrance to important and meaningful events and encounters of Jesus Christ's last days.   This week Ella and I joined friends for a local outdoor walk through the stations of the cross.   It was a pleasant evening and signs of life along the wooded trail seemed to be the perfect backdrop to take some quiet moments and reflect on the greatest gift ever given. Each individual station had a prayer and a reflection, but what really moved me was the parallel way in which Jesus has been at each station of my life.  And promises to be at yours. He has wiped my tears of exhaustion and fear.   He has upheld me through agonizing pain and discomfort.   He has celebrated my joys, filled my heart with love and taught me to forgi

 Jesus cleaned out the temple, sending the moneychangers away.  He overturned tables and rebuked them for making his father's house a den of thieves. The Pharisees were afraid.   They knew that their power was threatened. They recognized his authority.  They knew He had the power to heal.  The crowds of people heard Him teach and were drawn to His truths that made them want to follow.   In Mark 15:18 it says that all the people were "astonished at his doctrine". It stood clearly distinct from the teachings of men around them.  He taught a new way, a better way, a more holy way.  It's the same doctrine still being taught.  If we open our hearts, we too will be astonished by his doctrine.   It may seem at odds with what is being taught in society.   It may prick our conscience and inspire change. It will offer us hope and light in a world where darkness sells and hatred and despair are peddled freely.  But we can know.  We can recognize the majesty and power of His teac

 Holy Week starts in the simplest of ways Jesus tells his disciples to do as he says. He tells them the place, the animals to find; The ass and the colt with prophecy allign. He gives them the words, tells how to respond; Their robes make the saddle for Christ to sit upon. Triumphantly led into Jerusalem calm, Clothing covers the ground as well as leaves of palm. This is His moment, amidst a large gathering; It's a welcoming path, fitting for the great King. "Hosanna" they shout "to rescue, to save" Amidst flowing arms with palm fronds that wave. "Blessed is he in the name of the Lord"; All is completed as proclaimed in God's word. Hosanna in the highest, most glorious, above A perfect Savior preparing to offer His love. And when he is come, the great question is raised "Who is this?" But the multitude answers unphased "This is our Jesus of Nazareth of Galilee; A prophet they said who all have come to see." But the greater quest

  Beverly Cleary died today. She leaves quite the legacy.   I loved her books as a child.  And I loved them as an adult reading to my children and students.  She shared, "I had a very wise mother. She always kept books that were my grade level in our house." My parents also made sure we had good books that spanned the reading levels in our home. Did you know that William W Phelps was called, "... to assist my servant Oliver Cowdery to do the work of printing, and of selecting and writing books for schools in this church, that little children also may receive instruction before me as is pleasing unto me." (D&C 55:4) The Lord sees good books for children as important. One of the most fascinating parts of teaching languages to children is that there seems to be something truly magical about a parent reading to their child in their native tongue that can't be replicated in any other way.  I had the honor and pleasure of being part of an example of this two years

 "Arrggghh!! The yellow is broken!!!"   I looked up and crossed the room to where the kindergartner was now standing  at his table with a set of paints and his paper laid out in front of him.  His chubby little fingers grasped the brush tightly in his fist and he repeatedly kept putting the brush back into his water cup and then trying to get yellow paint on his brush.  But the cup of water was now a dark reddish brown and he was simply transferring the pigment from the cup to his paint tray.   "Hmmmm.  What do you think is the problem here?" I asked as I knelt by his side. "My water is all brown so I can't fix my paints to make a fierce dinosaur. Fierce dinosaurs have yellow eyes." "Should we go get clean water?"  I put my hand out and he took it and I led him to the sink.  We refilled his cup with clean water and put the brush under the tap.  Even with fresh water, at first the water coming out was a dark brown but it gradually became light

 I was at the grocery store this week picking up some needed items when I got a text that a meeting time had changed and my boss needed me to head to work immediately.   I quickly got into the checkout line, but the cashier was not in the same hurry I was.  I even told her I was in a hurry but as she leisurely scanned my items she paused and asked, "Do you know much about crabgrass?" "No," I said.  I handed her the next item hoping to keep the process moving.   She took the can and held it, oblivious to my facial expressions trying to urge her on.  "Do you know when is the best time for me to apply the stuff to my lawn to treat it? I really hate crabgrass." "I don't. Maybe you could read the bag or call the company."  "Well I asked them at Lowe's and they said there isn't a special week to apply it." I eventually got out of there.  I don't know how her grass turned out but she was definitely looking for advice in the wro

  I took piano lessons for 10 years.   I play like I took them for 3.  Seriously.  Sometimes when I'm playing my mind starts to wonder how my eyes can look at black marks on the paper and my brain turns that information into which fingers to push, where, and how fast and suddenly I am lost and have no idea what I am doing.  (Aren't our brains the most amazing things ever!!??) I can tap out a solid right hand if needed in Primary or to help teach the girls a rhythm.  I can play in church but we will be singing Sweet Hour of Prayer and we slow it WAY down and the congregation will just have to follow me. It may literally be an hour of prayer. And I kid you not when I attempted to accompany the choir one year at Christmas we had our Christmas piece cancelled not twice but three times by blizzards.  I take full responsibility and know that the Lord was blessing our efforts but still protecting the sanctity of those Christmas numbers! 😂 I am however a tremendous appreciator of musi

 Ella's favorite and most comforting doctrine from the Come Follow Me readings this week is in D&C 29:24-25: "For all old things shall pass away, and all things shall become new, even the heaven and the earth, and all the fulness thereof, both men and beasts, the fowls of the air, and the fishes of the sea; 25 And not one hair, neither mote, shall be lost, for it is the workmanship of mine hand." People and animals will be resurrected.  In Revelations 5:13 it goes further and says all creations will glorify his name.   Like many others whose lives have been immensely enriched and blessed by their four legged friends, for Ella it wouldn't be Heaven without them.

  We have now lived in Northern Indiana for 8 years.  We have flown in and out of Chicago countless times.  But two weeks ago when Alex and I returned from a weekend college visit,  I was really tired and it was dark.  I set my GPS to navigate home but since Alex was listening to an online class, I turned the volume down so the GPS volume wouldn't  interfere.  Then when my phone slipped and landed on the floor, instead of picking it up I just kept driving.   I also didn't account for a large accident on the tollway.  So I had to take I-94 instead of I-90.  I knew that I would need to get off on Highway 20 to get home but I not only have no sense of direction, I'm also terrible at judging distances.   So I just followed the car in front of me.  I know.  It's not a great driving strategy and it's one that has driven me to lots of wrong places before.  I figured if I went too far the GPS would tell me how to get back.  As traffic became more and more sparse I felt like

 It was a beautiful day to officially welcome Spring, here in the Northern Hemisphere.   Ella and I went on a bike ride, the first of the season, and stopped at a bench where we watched this squirrel wrestle with his corn cob.  We can learn a lot from squirrels.  Because they don't actually hibernate, they need food to eat all winter long.  Squirrels store up to 10,000 nuts by burying them in caches on the land surrounding their nests.   A study at UC Berkeley found that squirrels actually hold each nut and sort them by type, nutritional value and more and bury them in scattered caches. It has also been reported that they do fake burials where they actually put the nut in their cheek and pretend to bury them to throw off other squirrels who might try and pilfer their food. Squirrels are then able to stay alive all winter by carefully going to their hiding spots and getting food to take back to the nest.  We have also been told to prepare temporally and spiritually.   In October 202

 This phase of life isn’t what I necessarily expected. I suppose that’s because it’s new. And sometimes lonely. In a new way.  When my kids were little I could share their antics and the frustrations of raising a toddler with others. Somehow seeing that other moms were cleaning up spilled cereal and potty training accidents in a stage of perpetual delirium made it seem bearable and the norm. Something along the lines of shared misery and joys making me feel like part of the club. Then as they grew up and hit those beloved all teeth and feet elementary years it was sometimes nothing more than a look of sympathy and connection from parents at the pickup line as I shouted for one of them to come back for a lunch bag....and then their backpack...again. Or shared laughs and sighs of frustration  as I found 3 other parents at Walmart at 10:45 pm purchasing styrofoam balls for atom projects due the next day. Apparently my child wasn’t the only one who had some time management and communicatio

  I watched the rain coming down this morning and my thoughts were drawn to Noah. Most people are familiar with the story of Noah building the ark and bringing in the animals 2 by 2. But do we go deeper? Noah certainly wasn't perfect, but do we  ponder how we can learn from his obedience and efforts to follow God? Genesis 6:8 reads, "But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD." He FOUND grace.  That grace was there, but what was Noah's part? What is ours? Elder Delbert L Stapley  taught, "Through his faithful, unwavering adherence to the counsels of God, and despite the scoffing and ridicule from the people to his warnings of their approaching destruction, Noah and his family won God's protecting power and were the only ones saved from the flood." Faithful, unwavering adherence, not by ourselves, but with the help of Christ.  No matter what others are saying.   James 1:5 is a very familiar scripture:"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,

 I have experienced many miracles in my life. But I still have lots of times when I find myself seeing the miracles in others' lives seeming to overshadow my own.   It can seem unfair.  I'm following the plan.  I've tried to stay the course but the answer I am seeking doesn't seem to come.  It's not that I doubt He could heal or help or change things.  I know without a doubt He could.  I'm just not sure He will.  And it's at those times I let doubts creep in and find myself wondering.   Is my faith not strong enough? Am I not fully worthy? In praying with my whole heart and soul is there some part of my heart I'm somehow missing?  Is there more I could have done?  My cousin Julia recently shared this thought that I really needed: She shared how her sister was expecting twins and she found herself a bit jealous of the miracle her sister is experiencing.  But then she wrote, "But the last few months, I’ve noticed I can still appreciate the miracle, ev

 Yesterday this book arrived in the mail.  One of the last projects my Grandma Holderness was working on before her death was this book.  She wanted to share the miracles she had seen in her life with her posterity.  Before she died she asked my mom and my aunt to make sure the project was completed. They have now fulfilled that promise.  One miracle that she wrote about, and which I remember her personally telling about, is when she was praying to Heavenly Father asking Him to help her find and use the time to increase her scripture study.   A short time later she received a calling to be a seminary teacher.  The timing and details of her life at the time made it seem like an impossibility for her to accept.  Logically and on the surface it seemed like she should decline and she was sure my grandpa who was not a member of our faith would not support it. But then she realized it could be the direct answer to her prayer.  And my grandpa not only supported it but agreed to shift some dut

 The sunrise this morning was spectacular. As one first grader said at school today, "Did you see that new color of blue God made this morning? I don't think I've ever seen that one before." "Thy mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds." (Psalm 36:5) How beautiful is it that no matter how dark things may seem now, tomorrow's sunrise could bring colors we haven't even imagined?

  I started to type that this is one of my most embarrassing stories but to be honest I have a whole list of times I have embarrassed myself.  This one still makes me blush a bit as I feel the confused looks of those around me. We had just moved into a new ward.  I was sitting in Relief Society and we were discussing the blessings of putting on the whole armor of God and what that might look like for us individually.  As the teacher mentioned the shield of faith and asked what it made us think of, a favorite scripture popped into my mind.  Only somehow, with being in a new congregation of people I didn't know, that scripture got a bit garbled on the way to my lips.   And I declared with confidence, "A shield of faith will protect us from the direy farts of Satan."  Because, as you well know, we teach often about Satan's farts🤦‍♀️. The teacher looked at me, not with any unkindness at all, but sheer confusion.  So did every other person in the room, even those suppress

 Several weeks ago a friend stopped by and handed me an envelope with some cash in it.   She said that she has been blessed this year and she felt prompted to share and to bring it to me and for me to use it to help someone in need.   Yesterday I became aware of a family who was struggling and needed help. They were facing eviction, medical difficulties, and caring for elderly parents all while having to work in two different states.  After praying I felt prompted to reach out to them and I explained that a friend had given me some cash and that I felt like Heavenly Father wanted them to know that they weren't forgotten.  Last night I got them the cash and felt comforted that they had been able to pay another month's rent. I offered encouragement and my prayers.   But then discouragement crept into my mind.  While I was grateful, it felt like a tiny drop in the bucket compared to what they were facing.  In Mark 6:51-52 we read about what happens when Jesus calms the storm: &quo

 I walked into the kindergarten classroom to pick up my student and found him in uncontrollable tears.  He had spent all of recess digging for worms but didn't find one.  I knelt down next to him and listened and then gently led him down the hall to retrieve students from the other class.   When we got to my room the other students asked him what was wrong. We have worked hard on identifying and labeling various feelings and building appropriate skills to deal with them.   "I feel disappointment,"he said still wiping his tears. "I feel it right here." He put his little hand at the base of his throat. "Like it's small in there." "He was hoping to find a worm today but he didn't'." I explained to the others.  We wished him well and started our music for the class.  I let him remain lying down as the music started and about half way through he started singing along and then sat up.   As we moved into reading our story, he suddenly in

 D&C 25:12 "For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads." I love this picture of my little nephew just listening and taken in by Alex playing her cello.  He was drawn to it and intrigued by the creation of melodies.  Music does that to us.   Music has always been a part of my life. I remember listening to my parents 8 tracks and LPs on the HiFi stereo as we danced to Simon and Garfunkel and Johnny Cash or sang along with Roger Whitaker.  My dad is pretty much tone-deaf but it didn't stop him from singing along, or rather belting out his own voice. Or teaching us to dance as we stood on the tips of his shoes. On car trips, especially on the stretches with no FM reception, we sang in rounds and learned that each of our parts may be different but together they make beautiful harmonies. We learned to tune into the rhythms and cadences of others and follow alo

 I jokingly texted a cousin about my failures on International Women's Day.  While I posted about the strength and merits of women (which I strongly stand by!) this was my message to her.  "To celebrate  I pulled a sock out of my roomba, fed my family a premade casserole from a box that has corn it it so George made an alternative meal and put my pjs on at 5:45.  Killing it over here!!😂😂😂" It is so easy to look at others and think that things must be easier, better, more blessed for them.  To give them our joy. Emma Smith's patriarchal blessing included these lines: "Thou hast grieved for the hardness of the hearts of thy father’s house, and thou hast longed for their salvation. The Lord will have respect to thy cries, and by his judgments he will cause some of them to see their folly and repent of their sins; but it will be by affliction that they will be saved. Thou shall see many days; yea, the Lord will spare thee till thou art satisfied, for thou shalt se

 The Great Boston Fire of 1762  is a historical event that I found fascinating.  There were so many different elements that led to its occurrence, level of devastation and aftermath. First of all, the setting was ripe for disaster.  Building codes were spotty at best and many of the  structures were dangerously waiting for the first spark.  The taxation laws said that any merchandise stored in the attic was not taxable, so buildings used the mansard roof, which provides steep pitched roofing and allows for almost another floor of living, or in this case storage space.  Buildings were built in extreme close proximity to one another, using every usable foot of land space. So with attics stuffed full of dry goods and one building nearly touching another, it is apparent how flames could easily leap from one edifice to the next. When the fire started in a warehouse basement it quickly engulfed the entire building and raced on, devouring the neighboring buildings so quickly and with so much

 On this International Women's Day I honor one of my favorite women, Emma Hale Smith. Doctrine & Covenants Section 25 is without a doubt my favorite section and has been since I was a teen.  We have been taught to "liken the scriptures unto us".  While I can find personal relevance and revelation in any scripture with the aide of the Holy Spirit, in this section it feels like the Lord is speaking just to me. It's easier to relate and tune in because in this beautiful revelation to Emma Smith it is written to a woman.   Emma Smith is one of the women I admire most. I can relate to her and I think if we had lived as contemporaries, whether in her day or mine, we would have been friends. Emma was a school teacher.  Her gifts included writing and music and she had a love for learning. She yearned to do right and follow the Lord. Prior to this revelation,  she has been baptized but not yet confirmed.  Here in verse 8, she is told she will receive the Holy Ghost.  "

 Two years ago Alex was in the musical, Annie.  The pictures popped up in my memories today.   The song the orphan's sing, "It's the Hard-Knock Life", describes some of the difficulties of their life in the orphanage.  It made me reflect on the many parts of life that truly are hard.   But don't forget who is in control. Sheri Dew reminds, "It’s not living the gospel that’s hard. It’s life that’s hard. It’s picking up the pieces when covenants have been compromised or values violated that’s hard. The gospel is the Good News that provides us the tools to cope with the mistakes, the heartaches, the disappointments we can expect to experience here." Remember, after Sarah laughed at the very idea of bearing a child in her old age, the Lord rebuked her, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" (Gen 18:14).  Sometimes the hard stuff just means we are here on this imperfect earth and have shown up for another day.  Trust Him to help you handle it, especia

  The USS Constitution is a ship that earned the name "Old Ironsides" when her white oak, 22" thick hull was able to withstand many attacks during the War of 1812. She is the worlds oldest commissioned naval vessel still afloat.   But even the mighty Ironsides was dependent upon the winds to help move and evade attacks.   In July of 1812, a British squadron of five ships engaged the USS Constitution which tried to outrun them.  But the winds completely stopped, so Captain Isaac Hull used a method called kedging which entailed putting anchors into the smaller boats, rowing those in the desired direction and then dropping them.  The anchors would then pull the ship along by the attached ropes.  They would then be raised and the process repeated. It must have been slow and arduous work, but it saved the ship and awarded her a reputation as a serious naval contender.   It was said that it almost seemed that cannonballs would bounce off her sides.  But just because she was a

 The last two days we've had blue skies and sunshine.  When those days string together they lose their magic.  But growing up in the Pacific Northwest, and now living in Northern Indiana, the warmth of that sunshine is a stark contrast to the weeks of grey overcast that winter brings. And when that happens you can feel the collective hope in the air. More smiles.  Lighter steps. The heavy bundles of winter wear shed for jackets, not necessarily because of the temperature but because of the warmth absorbed by closing eyes and tilting your head upward toward the radiance of the sun.  Mary Schmich wrote about this phenomenon in the Chicago Tribune last week.  She taught me a new, but very rarely used word.  Apricity. It means "the warmth of sun in winter." I like the sound and feel of that.   Perhaps one could say that Jesus Christ also brings apricity.  Do we not all desire the warmth of the Son in the winters of our lives? He brings a breath of fresh air to the tired and w

 I recently read a conversation in which one person asked why a loving God would send his children to Hell.   The response was simple and yet profound.  He doesn't.  He sent His son to save them from it instead. (I wish I could find it again to give the author credit). Read how this passage in D&C 20 confirms this beautiful doctrine. 17 By these things we know that there is a God in heaven, who is infinite and eternal, from everlasting to everlasting the same unchangeable God, the framer of heaven and earth, and all things which are in them; 18 And that he created man, male and female, after his own image and in his own likeness, created he them; 19 And gave unto them commandments that they should love and serve him, the only living and true God, and that he should be the only being whom they should worship. 20 But by the transgression of these holy laws man became sensual and devilish, and became fallen man. 21 Wherefore, the Almighty God gave his Only Begotten Son, as it is w

 Have you ever had one of those thoughts that bursts into your head with no warning?  And you wonder where it came from?  Yesterday I was dealing with some frustrations and handling them less well than I should have been. All of a sudden I thought of my Grandpa Holderness and the thought came to me that I needed to be counting my blessings, not the problems in the situation. He taught us to serve others, to set high goals and work hard, and to have fun and create a new tradition at every opportunity.  He taught us to look for ways to reach out and help those in need, to never stop learning and that family should be cherished.  He looked for the good and then worked hard to make it better, and followed Christ, finding joy even amidst the difficulties along the way.   He was the kind of man who chose for the song "Count Your Many Blessings" to be played at his funeral.    I pondered on the lyrics.   "So amid the conflict, whether great or small, Do not be discouraged, God

 I used to start my preschool class each day by repeating our class promise together with my students.  One child would point at the pictures as we recited, "We will use gentle hands, listening ears, walking feet and happy (or helpful)  words so everyone can be safe to learn together." When kids would make missteps (and they all did at times), we would guide them back to the class promise and allow them to reset and try again.  In D&C 20:69 we read of our responsibilities after baptism.  "And the members shall manifest before the church, and also before the elders, by a godly walk and conversation, that they are worthy of it, that there may be works and faith agreeable to the holy scriptures—walking in holiness before the Lord." A godly walk and conversation. Feet walking on the path Christ has shown us.  Words that are helpful, not hurtful. Words that testify of Christ. Words that bring joy. Our works and our faith agreeing with the teachings of the scriptures.

 One of the biggest lies Satan has sold me has been the "I'm not good enough."   I'm not a good enough mom. I'm not a good enough wife.  I'm not a good enough friend. I'm not a good enough writer. I'm not a good enough teacher.  I'm not a good enough neighbor.  I'm just not enough.  But I'm also not alone.   Elder Holland stated, "Around the Church I hear many who struggle with this issue: “I am just not good enough.” “I fall so far short.” “I will never measure up.” I hear this from teenagers. I hear it from missionaries. I hear it from new converts. I hear it from lifelong members. One insightful Latter-day Saint, Sister Darla Isackson, has observed that Satan has somehow managed to make covenants and commandments seem like curses and condemnations. For some he has turned the ideals and inspiration of the gospel into self-loathing and misery-making." Dr Becky Bailey says that all of us have that empty hole inside of us - only it

  One day when ready-made snacks were running low, my young teenage son came home and looked aimlessly through the cupboards, fridge and pantry before declaring, "We don't have food.  There's nothing but ingredients!" Don't we all get a bit impatient like that at times?  We pray for what it is we think we need and assume that our prayers are unanswered, when in fact the ingredients are being provided all around us.   As Ann Landers so famously quoted, "Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."  Psalm 128:2 reminds us, "For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee." So continue to pray in faith but don't forget to look around you for all that is possible with what you have and some ingenuity and hard work!